{"product_id":"sibling-gum","title":"Sibling Gum:","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour Choice of Sibling Gum – Eldest, Middle, or Little Sh*t\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e \u003cp\u003eFamily therapy? Too expensive. This gum? Just $3.99 and comes with 8 pieces of deeply repressed emotion and artificial flavoring.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003ePick your trauma—I mean, \u003cem\u003eflavor\u003c\/em\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e🧓 \u003cstrong\u003eEldest Child Gum\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cem\u003eCinnamon Flavored\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cblockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"I never even had a childhood. Of course I carry the mental and emotional load of our family. Did you call Mom back?\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003c\/blockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003eSpicy, just like the resentment you've been carrying since you were voluntold to raise your siblings while your parents were \"resting their eyes.\" Comes with a strong urge to control the group chat and a burning desire to be left alone (but also slightly praised).\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e😐 \u003cstrong\u003eMiddle Child Gum\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cem\u003eFruit Flavored\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cblockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"No one consults me. Wait, there’s a family chat? I’ve learned to not seek validation from my immediate family members.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003c\/blockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003eSweet, fruity, and tragically overlooked—just like your middle school band concert. This gum exists in a constant state of confusion and quiet rebellion. Chew it while journaling, practicing shadow puppetry, or crying in your car.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003ch4\u003e💩 \u003cstrong\u003eLittle Sh*t Gum\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cem\u003eMint Flavored\u003c\/em\u003e \u003c\/h4\u003e \u003cblockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"I’m coming with you! Who you calling ‘snot-nosed?’ Weirdly, there are no baby photos of me.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003c\/blockquote\u003e \u003cp\u003eCool, minty, and chaotically unbothered. Perfect for the sibling who got away with \u003cem\u003eeverything\u003c\/em\u003e and still has the nerve to say “we’re all messed up because of YOU.” Bonus: includes invisible entitlement and at least 3 stolen hoodies.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eEach flavor-packed box contains 8 pieces of therapy-scented gum.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade in Canada, because of course emotional damage tastes better when imported.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePerfect for passive-aggressive gift baskets, sibling roast nights, or just as a reminder that no matter your role, you're \u003cem\u003edefinitely the normal one\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Exotic Candies","offers":[{"title":"Youngest Child","offer_id":44487535067229,"sku":"20bf116b-8fcd-4256-a855-6693e863e72f","price":1.91,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Middle Child","offer_id":44487535099997,"sku":"538f4f59-cc24-45bc-ae3c-7f9628bd8933","price":4.01,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Eldest Child","offer_id":44487535132765,"sku":"40c976cc-4063-4964-ab98-6394bcee250d","price":4.01,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0734\/0939\/6829\/files\/28cbb8a3488f47af240f6f90eeb89d1d.jpg?v=1780277399","url":"https:\/\/www.exoticcandies.store\/products\/sibling-gum","provider":"Exotic Candies","version":"1.0","type":"link"}